Wednesday, May 30, 2007

This is some bullshit...

  1. trading Shaq
  2. trading Shaq without demanding Wade in return
  3. trading Caron
  4. trading Caron for Kwame
  5. biggest free agent acquisition: Vlade Radmanovic
  6. biggest trade acquisition: Maurice Evans

Building a winner huh?

If they fuck up this Kobe thing, the Lakers are dead to me.

Thursday, May 24, 2007

Addendum: Lebron

Two clutch, game-time situations. Two major choke jobs. So far LBJ has exhausted option1 (get rid of the ball a.s.a.p.), and option2 (dribble for way too long then blame the refs) on the v.i.n.c.e. chart for crunch time choking. He's obviously a tremendous student. Watch out for option3 (the deep j) when the series returns to Cleveland. By the way, how is the most physically gifted athlete in the League complaining about incidental contact? Is this the same guy who often claims to be a football player at heart? Hell, isn't it the same guy who earlier in the same game took a crossbody slap from Rip Hamilton and still finished with a lefty layup? But then come the end game and he's thrown off by a little brush on the tummy? Fuck this, Lebron gets the gasface and he joins the Blacklist. Lookout Dirk, there's a new #1.

Wednesday, May 23, 2007

The Case for Portland

Being the unabashed Kobe fan that I am, I have to admit that now I'm scared. I mean last offseason I was scared thinking that the Lakes barely made the playoffs and would have to spend '07 dealing with healthy Utah, Houston, and a freshly seasoned New Orleans to make the playoffs. I prayed for major improvements. None came. But luckily the faithful old Clips and Kings fell off and Kobe was able to drag those other guys into the playoffs. This offseason, though, is monumental for the Kobe era. Why well let's look at the West.

1.San Antonio



These six teams are locked in unless Bonzi Wells losses it and kills some people. That only leaves TWO spots left with 9 teams to go. That's worse odds than Jerry West had for the #1 pick and we all know what happened there. Speaking of the Grizz, let's eliminate them right now.


Yes, these teams all suck donkey dick and have absolutely zero chance of posteseason life next year. Basically all 3 squads are fodder for the rest of the league to scavenge decent players from. Minus these 3 losers brings us down to SIX teams vying for those TWO spots.


8.Golden State
12.New Orleans

Golden State, Seattle, and the Clippers really don't scare me. They have amassed a lot of talent, but are poor teams, which means they are capable of incredibly hot streaks, but over the course of 82 games I'm taking Kobe. New Orleans has slowly put together a winner adn barring major injuries again this year I fully expect them to make the playoffs. That leaves only Portland in the way of my guy 24 seeing the postseason. And frankly that scares me. Here's why:

exhibit A: The Twin Towers
Portland will draft Greg Oden. They have to. The opportunity to pair Oden with Aldridge has devastating possibilities. There's only been two real Twin Tower scenarios in my lifetime and they both were wildly successful. The obvious one is Duncan/Robinson. Both were natural shotblockers and rebounders who could run the floor. The were an impossible matchup, and the fact that both guys could post or face up meant that they dominated both sides of the floor from freethow to baseline. They immediately won a championship. The other set was Olajuwon/Sampson. Don't laugh. You have to understand, Ralph's knees only allowed him to play 3.5 real seasons of basketball, and he was matched up with Hakeen for only 2.5 of those years. Ralph Sampson was KG before there was a KG, except he was 7-4. For the 2 full seasons the twin towers were together they combined to average 42.5 points, 22.4 boards, 4.8 blocks, and 2.8 steals. Even Wilt respects those numbers! And to top it off, the Rockets won 99 games over those two seasons. Get this, the Lakers went to all 10 Western Conference Championships in the 80's, and only lost 2. One of those loses was a 4-1 embarassment at the hands of Olajuwon and Sampson. Only Larry Bird, having the greatest season of his career (not to mention Parrish and McHale), stopped Houston from bringing home the gold cup.

Bottomline: Towers win. And yes! Those are the Ralph Sampson Puma LE's. Check the signature.

exhibit B: Bigs Win!
A quick chart for those of you swearing up and down that Jordan turned it into a guard's league.

Recent NBA Champions
2004:Pistons (ok, fair argument here, even though Shaq was present)

Bottomline: You wanna be on espn, go small. You want to win rings, go BIG!

exhibit C: The Youth Movement
Greg Oden is about to change the whole Portland basketball culture. Originally the blueprint was to build around Z-Bo Randolph and D.Miles. But this past season's draft heists of
Aldridge and Roy opened Blazer eyes to a new path. Oden represents the final brick in that path. The Blazers can now begin a true youth movement led by the Roy and the Twin Towers version 3.0. That triumvirate takes the pressure off of every other young Blazer Jarret Jack, Sergio Rodriguez, Martell Webster, Travis Outlaw, and Ime Udoka. Instead of searching to see how these gusy can fit, there are very defined roles to fill: ball handler, defender, outside shooter. It's always easier to do your job when you know exactly what it is you have to do. These guys will now have the oppurtunity to excel. Plus this gives the Blazers major leverage to trade both Z-Bo and Miles for better fits. With the major pieces for the movement in place Portland brass can feel free to move those guys for less than market value so long as they bring veteran, character guys to help the youngens out. It's a seller's market in Portland.

Bottomline: With a couple of smart trade moves to go along with the Oden pick, the Blazers could make the playoffs. And that scares the shit out of me. Somebody call the Logo. Kobe needs some help!

Tuesday, May 22, 2007

I'll call him Mini Me!

Did you guys catch Lebron pulling a classic v.i.n.c.e.? (I spell his name out because I, much like Mr. Carter, can't seem to put it all together) I mean in crunch time v.i. has 3 go-to moves.

1) Get rid of the ball A.S.A.P!
2)Dribble for as long as possible and then turn it over and blame the refs
3)Pull up for the deep j

For Derek Fisher, this is a reasonable list of options. For a guy who has no qualms with dunking on his own mom, these options are not acceptable. Yet and still, that is the extent of v.i.n.c.e.'s repertoire. And Lebron thinks that shit is hot! Back in 2000 v.i.n.c.e. got swept out of the playoffs by a rowdy, post-Ewing Knick team. In game 2 of that series v.i.n.c.e. had the last shot and a chance to win the game for his guys and here's what he said:

"I was feeling confident, but looking out of the corner of my eye, Dee was wide open," Carter said. "He's a great shooter, and you take your chances."

Lebron after game 1 vs. the Pistons:

"You just have to take what's there, It's not about taking a high volume of shots, it's about trying to win the basketball game. We had an opportunity to win...The winning play when two guys come at you and a teammate is open is to give it up. It's as simple as that."

Now here's Latrell Sprewell in that same game 2 vs. v.i.n.c.e.:

"I wasn't settling for the jumper. I was going to the basket."

Spree hit the game winner and swept that series. Then continued on to lead the seriously undermanned Knicks to the Finals. Yep, the same Spree who took KG's no-winning ass to the West finals. The big difference between Spree and v.i.n.c.e./Lebron is that Spree just never gave a fuck. He was in it to win it. Anybody talking anything else was liable to get choked. For Real. Lebron gives too much of a fuck. He thinks about Nike and Sprite and David Stern and what the media is gonna talk about tomorrow. So sure, he was ready to throw out quotes about the 'winning play' but he wasn't playing to win.

The Pistons left Donyell open for a reason. "If he makes the pass and they score we'll live with it," says Rip Hamilton. Umm, I think the Pistons have won a lil bit in this league, so if you're playing against them, then you probably don't want to just take what they're giving you. Unless you like boots up the ass.

v.i.n.c.e. has proven time and time again that anal stimulation is the only thing that moves him. If you don't remember, after getting swept in '00 by the Knicks, Charles Oakley spent the summer reaming v.i.n.c.e in the media. The next year v.i.n.c.e. actually pulled a Lebron and played really hard for 10 games, before heading back to UNC for graduation, and then choking off the series with option 3 (see chart above). After that season Oakley, and his array of anal stimulators, was jettisoned and we know how hard v.i.n.c.e. has worked since then. It's just a shame that Lebron is such a fan.

Monday, May 14, 2007

What's the Big Deal?

OK. Real Quick. What's the difference between Barry Bonds and Roger Clemens? Seriously, right now, hit the comment button and tell me. Because I see no difference. Neither has failed a drug test. Both have been fingered in steroids probes. Both were Hall of Famers before Steroids. And both have moved into the 'Greatest Ever' debate since steroids. Both have grown physically larger, and have shown an overpowering dominance that others of their age have lacked. So what's the difference? Please, I need to know.

Kinda like what's the difference between a pain killing injection and an anabolic steroid? Both are performance enhancing drugs, and both can be legal, depending on what you take. Honestly, a vitamin or a protein shake is performance enhancing, so is coffee and/or massive amounts of candy. Red Bull makes commercials claiming to enhance performance. As does Viagra, as a matter of fact.

So we can, but Barry can't?

So Shawn Merriman can, but Barry can't?

So Roger Clemens can, but Barry can't?

Talk to me people.

Tuesday, May 8, 2007

The NBA is the Shit!

I hate to do this, but I have to disagree with one of my favorite bloggers. BILL SIMMONS YOU'RE FLAT OUT WRONG. All season the Sports Guy has been complaining about how weak the league is, when that argument is about as bogus as all the Clements supporters who curse Bonds. The NBA is as strong as it's ever been, at least in the West. Last year's playoffs were amongst the best ever during my 28 years. And this year ( the West, at least) bounced back strong as ever. Dallas, while a huge bust, could matchup favorably with any non-championship franchise since the days of Russell and Chamberlain. So yes I'd put money, after a few drinks, on Dirk's squad against any non Magic, Bird, Moses, MJ, Isiah, Hakeem, Kobe, Shaq, Duncan team. San Antonio deserves talk as a legitimate Dynasty. Phoenix (who I hate!) can beat pretty much any team ever that doesn't come out with a real serious focus on stopping them. Houston has two Hall of Famers in it's lineup. Utah is more dangerous than any of those Stockton-Malone teams. Denver has a top 4 (AI, Melo, Camby, Nene) that can matchup with anybody. And that's all without mentioning the best player in the league (Kobe), the NBA's greatest Cinderella ever (Golden State), or anybody in the East. If you watched more than just your local station and ESPN then there's no way you can say the NBA is worse than it was throughout the 90's. In fact, I'll argue that we are finally getting back to the "Build a team, win a ring" days of the 80's where it wasn't about one or two franchise guys, it was about being 15 strong. Come on Sports Guy, we all know ESPN is more interested in being Paris Hilton than Tiger Woods, but I expect more out of you. Jemele, please check ya boy!

Sunday, May 6, 2007

Lost Education

Watching Tmac almost break into tears after his 6th first round failure really hurt me. I mean, as a Kobe fan, it's only natural that I'm a big Tmac fan also. I can remember back to his first playoff experience alongside Vince in Toronto when a young Mac outshined his superstar cousin while losing to the Knicks. While Vince began writing the first pages of Memoirs of the Nutless, Tmac showed signs of the killer that would eventually avg. 32 over a full season and carry an Orlando squad manned with Pat Ewing, Horace Grant, and Darrell Armstrong into the the playoffs.

Watching Mac repeatedly bang his head against the first round wall seems eerily familiar though. Didn't I see this happen to Magic, Bird, MJ, Isiah.....nah, no I didn't. Those guys learned their lessons in whole different arena. Now I'm not one of those guys who talks about how much college builds character or all that BS, but I do believe it helps to build winners. The college game is the first time guys get to match their team game against other quality teams. Sure high school ball was big shit for most of us, but how much of a challenge did it pose for Tmac? Lebron? Kg? Think about this, no matter how nice you swear you were in high school, how would you have matched up against Mac? Exactly, he woulda been doing NBA Live shit on any one of us. Then he turned around and actually hit the NBA. That's like going from high school science class to NASA.

I look at the big 3 guys from the '04 draft and it really proves the point. Lebron came from straight from the lil leagues and struggled like hell for 3 years just to get into the playoffs in the weak ass east. Melo spent one year schooling the Drew Gooden's and Nick Collison's of the college where he learned 2 big things: 1)How to match up against equally talented teams, and 2)How to be leader for your team. Coincidentally, Melo has made the playoffs in the ultra tough West every year. Then you come to Dwayne Wade. Who didn't start off as a walking hype machine. Wade spent 4 years at tiny Marquette learning how to be the man and picking up the ultimate skill of being able to elevate the players around him. Wade has made the playoffs each year. Understand, that first season was sans Shaq and he still made it to the 2nd round. As a matter of fact, this is the first year of his career that Wade didn't make it at least to the 2nd round.

"So what about Kobe?" you ask. And even though I'm the #1 fan, I'll be objective here. Kobe came in to the league alongside Shaq, so that makes up for a lot. In Kobe's first 3 years the Lakers flamed in the 2nd round while my guy avg 11.7 per. Over the next 3 years my man avg 25.2 and the Lakeshow took 3 straight trophies. During the same two terms Shaq's splits were 28.3 and 29.9. So obviously Kobe was the difference maker. But Kobe didn't go to school? True. Kobe was just lucky enough to join a franchise where he would be mentored on a day to day basis by Magic and the Logo. No other franchise can offer that education.

J.Oneal, drafted the same year as Kobe, went to a Trailblazer squad stacked with Scot Pip, Sheed, Sabonis and bunch of other quality support players. Coincidentally, he got an A+ education in how to talk big game. His Pacers teams are yearly underachievers, always making the playoffs but never living up to the hype. The difference between Jermaine and Kobe is the same as the difference between Magic and the Logo vs. Pip and Sheed.

The education these high school cats are missing out has nothing to do with books and essays. It's about leadership and domination. Think I'm bullshittin? Stephen Jackson. Drafted by San Antonio, the best franchise in the game right now, he learned from Pop, Duncan, and that whole squad of 3-time champions, look what he's doing with GS. Leadership and Domination. Sorry Mac. Time to go back to school.

Thursday, May 3, 2007

BlackBalled? L.A. Lakers

Jerry West please come back! Honestly I need this guy in my life. Up until about 9 years ago I was a die-hard Clipper fan. My eyes still tear up remembering the wonderful years of Ron Harper, Danny Manning, Charles Smith, Ken Norman, Loy Vaught, Benoit Benjamin, Olden Polynice, shit I could go on all day. But here's the point, the current Lakers remind me of those teams with one major exception: Kobe. Kobe is the guy who transformed my youthful love of the Clips over to the darkside fandom of the Lakers. And just like those old Clips, these Lakers are loveable losers, except for Kobe. 24 is a force of nature that rapes and pillages small towns, literally! And I love him for it. Cause if I could I'd be doing the same shit! So what both Kobe and the D.I.G. need is the return of Jerry West. The Logo is kinda like Obi Wan Kenobe but better cause he partied with Wilt Chamberlain. With that said, I have to consider perhaps I am just overly distraught by the ball slap Phoenix just laid on my guys. But I can't help but be hurt seeing Golden State, a fellow Cali team, running around with their balls dangling all over Dirk's chin, while my guys sit in a corner waiting for their testes to drop. Believe it or not I actually cheered the Suns a little bit in hopes that they killed us quickly do I didn't have to be punished by the likes of Kwame and Smush any longer. Now I can actually enjoy the rest of the playoffs.
Even though the Logo will be in my dreams.

Typsy Tyrants: You really need to get of Jerry West's nuts. What they need to do is sell the whole team for KG. doesn't take a genius to know that.

D.I.G.: I would blow Rosie O'Donnell if it brought KG to the L.A.

Typsy Tryants: Honestly the biggest mistake wasnt taking Odom,Caron, Chucky Atkins for Shaq it was letting Caron and Chucky go for bums like Smush and Kwame. Not to mention drafting complete idiots. Kupchak is the reason for all this and no other person.

D.I.G.: Agreed, that's why I'm having wet dreams about Jerry West. Plus there's no way in hell Jerry would have traded Shaq and not gotten Wade as part of the deal.

Typsy Tyrants: Well West will be a consultant and people fail to believe Lakers can get anything but they have two 1st round picks and Mihm's expiring contract, Kwame, Odom, and plus the rest of the bums to trade. So i guess the Guru of trades can pull of a megadeal of some sort or at least some hogs that wont get ballslapped nightly.

D.I.G.: For sure they have the flexibility to make a something big happen. But Mitch can't be pulling the strings. I mean how do you move Shaq for Odom, Butler, and Brian Grant. Then move Butler and Chucky Atkins for Kwame, and do nothing with Grant's expiring contract. So basically he's traded Shaq, Caron, and Chucky Atkins for Lamar and Kwame. Ouch. I'm moving to Oakland.

Typsy Tyrants: Man this yr killed my soul if I gotta watch one more game with a Smush, Cook, or any type of bullshit name i'm officially movin on to greener pastures. But still got love for the man KOBE. True MVP.

D.I.G.: So here's the queston: Have the Lakers fallen to Nowitzki status and earned a spot on the
black list?

Typsy Tyrant: I must say its official. Until further notice.

Wednesday, May 2, 2007

Finally Arrived.........

I am proud to be apart of the kill or be kill sporting blog which will ballslap the weak hearted, and seperate the guru's from the rootie poo's. Blackballed is created to give TRUE sports fans the fourm to express REAL views from each individuals take on sports as they see it. No more holding back the raw and uncut ways people wish to give their take on the issues. No being held to standards by corporate entities to walk the line. It is time to let it be known we are here and its about to get ugly. Welcome to the place where sports, entertainment, life, and all worldly issues, collide to form a undeniably irresistable outlet for the real sports fan. Time to bring the heat on the ultimate level and avoid the occaisonal ballslap or the status altering blackball. To all those who dare welcome to the next level.

P.S. Watch out for that Slap........
TV Japan - Ball Slap - A funny movie is a click away

A Few Good Rules

Black-ball (blāk'bôl') Pronunciation Key n.
1.A negative vote, especially one that blocks the admission of an applicant to an organization.
2.A small black ball used as a negative ballot.
trans. verb. black·balled, black·ball·ing, black·balls
1.To vote against, especially to veto the admission of.
2.To shut out from social or commercial participation; ostracize or boycott. black'ball'er n.

That's right, this site is not for the weakhearted, if you don't bring your A-game you will be ostracized and/or boycotted. Nobody wants that. How to avoid this you ask?

a) Always come strapped. Blackballed is a celebration of strength and achievement. Weakness will not be tolerated (Yes, we're talking to you Dirk).

b) Keep it clean. While we will always talk shit, it will be on a purely professional level. So while you may be told to eat shit and die, we'd never say it in front of your mom.

c) Steve Nash is a whiteboy. Take it as it is. Race is an identifying characteristic. That's it. So by calling Nash a whiteboy the only thing I'm saying is that he'll get more play from girls who like whiteboys than he would from girls who like Asian guys. Make sense? So it's totally Ok by us to call a young woman a nappy headed ho, so long as she is known to be promiscuous and rarely combs her hair. Actually that description could also fit Shawn Kemp, but moving on...

Bottomline we wanna run this blog like good sex: hard and clean. So you can slap all the ass you want, just don't burn anyone!